arje

You know i just keep thinking that im the only one gonna be left in greensboro....all my friends are going to move on to colleges outside of greensboro, not only that but ones that are the best like carolina...hopefully iapos;ll get there one day, but idk how hard its gonna be....im trying my best...but will i be able to do it/? i hope so...iapos;ve come too far to give up now...

i wish that things could have been better i was at the grimsley high school game today and they played against page that game was awesome...
i wish i could have gone to grimsley...it would have been great
i wish that i could have gotten great grades and made it into carolina
i wish that i could have played a sport if i had been skinny enough or fit enough or been a cheerleader or something
am i just lame??

sometimes i feell like wen im with my friends that they dont care for wat i have to say...iapos;ll say something and it seems as tho they just completely ignore me...idk maybe its just me...they dont always do that but sometimes i just think that...idk

today when we were on holden road goin to the game...me and kruti and binal were talkin and binal was like divya look to ur left and i saw roshan staring at us...binal said that she saw him staring at us...so she was like who the heck is that.. We got freaked for a second...weapos;re like omg hope its not nipul...and then we were talkin to him...and heapos;s like where yapos;all going and i was like weapos;r goin to the game...he was mostly talkin to kruti b/c sheapos;s good friend with his gf minisha....thats great and all, but he barely even talks to me anymore...the other day at garba...i was like ok let me say hey to him b/c he usually says it to me so i was like iapos;ll say it to him...and i was like hey...and he barely even said hey to me...i smiled at him when playin dandiya and he smiled bakc..but ok u cant say a proper hey to an old friend....idc he can do what he wants i still have respect for him as a friend...but today he kinda did talk to me...mostly to kruti...so we were like u going to the game and he was like no im going home and we were trying to talk while driving, but then we had to go...so we get to the parking lot...and we see him there drinving around...so binal and kruti were like follow him...and we did but i was trying to look for a parking spot so i stopped and then later binal was like y did u stop following him...i wanted to find out where he was going..i was like i was looking for a parkin spot....ahh w/e who cares abt wat he was doin there...he can do wat he wants ...his life...w/e .....it was pretty funny tho...yea i thought it was pretty rude that he barely talks to me anymore, but i guess thats just life...not everything is gonna last forever...i rmr the good old days when we were friends and stuff...nothing can replace that i guess...lol

then kruti called minisha and told her that she was with me and wat happened...i told her that he was weird and she was like no heapos;s not...i was abt to say...a lot u would know...lol but w/e she prob. Knows him better now....no heapos;s a good person from what i know...

you know i make fun of ppl but its sarcastically i dont mean wat i say...i always think that everyone is a good person and i try to look for that good person within them...

sometimes i think wat am i being punished for...

you know what for the future i will always rmr that if i ever have any children then i will always give them everything that i never had the chance to do...i hope that bhagwan will give me the chance to live my dreams through them...i hope that they will not deceive me when they grow up.� i know its too early to think of that..b/c i dont even know if i will find the right guy for me...its so hard to say rght now....idk...idk if i will end up with the one person that i love....idk wat the future holds in store...its exciting to find out but im starting to grow impatient b/c with the way things are going now i have a feeling that somethings wont turn out the way i wanted them too....i guess i just have to suck it up and deal with it....
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bong cleaning

So the landlord realized he sucks at book keeping, they are looking into my complaint at my job, its been a rough fuckin week.... I am in binghamton waiting for this crazy ass bus driver to get on the bus so we can go...

Was supposed to go into chez this morning, but the beauty of having a blacberry for work and your boss being in poland, is that you can telecommute without anyone knowing

You know your in upstate ,) when you see "mc cain/palin lawn thingies.... Its almost blasphemous... Not that I am 100 percent obama, but I guess I was raised to believe that your politics are your own business... I will talk about my beliefs no doubt, but a lot of what I believe is out side of american political norms anyway.

Speaking of outside of america. I have seriously been looking into dramatherapy programs in the uk. The one that I like the most is at Roehampton in London. There are a few very awesome scholarship programs too where you could get a free ride that - am looking into as well. If I play my cards right, - could be ther bu the fall of 2010. And looking svelte to boot.

This surgery is still scareing me, but I am moving forward. I tried to think of other things I have done in my life that have changed my life forever.... At first I could not think of anything cause I was not looking at it from the right perspective. Then I realized - do this kinda life changing shit all the time.....DUH - mean there is moving to seattle, moving to NYC, going to college.... I do it all the time all by myself, this is nothing different. I mean it is but it isnapos;t, if you follow me. I have never been so ready for a change...

And speaking of which, I am hungry... I should have had more then a pastry and some iced tea this morning... I will be in ithaca soon enough though
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charles dicken's

OK so iapos;m taking a break in studying for an LJ update.
GYm today was awesomer than normal elliptical was the same as always 20 minutes- but i boosted the resistence another level. The treadmill i actually jogged/ran the whole 20 minutes and the bike was my relaxing iapos;m still moving but iapos;m reading my indiana jones book so i donapos;t go insane this semester.

now iapos;ve read about 100 pages of pirates only.. 400 more pages to go
Tonight i REALLY need to write at least 8 pages of my thesis so i donapos;t freak out next week cuz next week i have a midterm the week after that i have an outline and working bibliography due for another research paper- as well as a topic proposal due for my 3rd rearch paper of the semester. I also need to start gathering supplies for my final project in pirates but thats the least of my worries right now.

on other news- my hair is curly today- i just decided not to do anything with it and srunched gel in it- i think it looks cute but i also havenapos;t look in a mirror lately so iapos;m not really sure

ugh school you own my soul and it makes me sad

and i want my literature review back

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After a 20 rush, 109 yard effort by broncos running back Michael Pittman against the Jaguars it doesn't seem as if Pittman will be giving the starting job back to Selvin Young any time soon.� With Selvin Young out against Jacksonville with a groin injury, Michael Pittman was given the starting job due to his strength and ability to plow through tackles.

Not only did Michael Pittman put up good numbers against one of the best run defenses in the NFL, he also contributed in protecting Jay Cutler by picking up blitzes.� With Pittman helping the offense in all kinds of ways, the Broncos do not know what they are going to do when Selvin Young comes back from injury, or when their 5th round draft pick out of Arizona State, Ryan Torain returns.� If the Broncos start running the ball effectively, it could help the play action, and give Jay Cutler more time in the pocket.

At the start of this season, Michael Pittman was looked to in short yard situations including pounding the ball on the goal line.� Now, with an injury to Selvin Young, Andre Hall not getting many carries, and a Broncos offense that has scored under 20 points in the last three games, Michael Pittman just might be that play maker they need.�

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Do you know how long itapos;s been since I got laid?

A really freaking long time, thatapos;s how long. Like, distances measured in years, which makes me a sad panda. Or rather, made me a sad panda. Made.

Because I FINALLY have a boy again, and itapos;s making me uncharacteristically giddy. Iapos;m anxious to see what this does to my writing. I had quite a few angsty stories in the works, but now everytime I put fingers to keyboard I seem to get nothing but KITTENS AND RAINBOWS, OMG.

Apparently endorphins do wonders for my moods. Whoapos;d a thunk? Sex: better than anti-depressants any day of the week.

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frustrative

So Iapos;ve finally decided to write on this thing. I�forgot I�had this account so Iapos;m going to start using it.

NO�MORE making accounts and not using them

And here goes...


As for today, Iapos;m not up to much. Its cold so Iapos;m just sitting here cuddled up with a blanket trying to keep warm. I hate being cold yet I kinda like days like this where I�can just cuddle up and watch tv or talk on here. Its relaxing.

Iapos;ve really gotten into the show Wife Swap. Its what Iapos;m currently watching. Its quite interesting to see how different people live. I never thought people did some of the things they do until I watched this show.


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beauhorn

I heard this song on the radio this morning on the way to work and I liked. I posted the lyrics so Iapos;ll remember them. The song is "The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot" by Brand New.

If it makes you less sad I will die by your hand. I hope you find out what you are, I already know what I am. And if it makes you less sad weapos;ll start talking again. You can tell me how vile I already know that I am.

Iapos;ll grow old and start acting my age. Iapos;ll be a brand new day in a life that you hate. A crown of gold, a heart thats harder than stone but it hurts a whole lot and its missed when its gone.

Call me a safe bet, Iapos;m betting Iapos;m not. Iapos;m glad that you can forgive, Iapos;m only hoping as time goes on you can forget.

If it makes you less sad, Iapos;ll move out of this state. You can keep you yourself. Iapos;ll keep out of your way. And if it makes you less sad Iapos;ll take your pictures all down. Every picture you paint I will paint myself out.

Itapos;s cold as a tomb and its dark in your room when I sneak to your bed to pour salt on your wounds. So call it quits or get a grip. You say you wanted a solution, you just wanted to be missed.

Call me a safe bet, Iapos;m betting Iapos;m not. Iapos;m glad that you can forgive. Iapos;m only hoping as time goes on you can forget. So you can forget.

You are calm and reposed, let your beauty unfold. Pale white like the skin stretched over your bones. Spring keeps you ever close, you are second hand smoke. You are so fragile and thin, standing trial for your sins. Holding on to yourself the best you can. You are the smell before rain, you are the blood in my veins.

Call me a safe bet, Iapos;m betting Iapos;m not. Iapos;m glad that you can forgive. Iapos;m only hoping as time goes on you can forget.
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